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My first two wives died of wild mushroom poisoning. The first one, Helga, was a gem. Married her while stationed in Germany. We went out one evening, picked some mushrooms to go with our Shnitzel. All seemed well until she fell ill and died the next day. The base doctor said it was due to poison mushrooms. My second wife, Shirley, was a real number. She also died because of wild mushroom , she died of a gunshot wound when she wouldn't eat her damn mushrooms.... My third wife, Renee has been a princess; ever since I told her about my first two wives, she won't even touch mushrooms!

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