Brant
Funny before church
Sunday, July 22, 2018, 06:34

I worked last night and pulled into my drive about 7am. Dog was going nuts at the fig tree again. I try to call him off but no go so I just leave him to it. He is happiest when he thinks he is doing his job.

I go inside and my beautiful bride of 24 yrs is giving me the stink eye. "Shut that dog up or I will permanently!"

So I find a scrawny little coon about 6 feet off the ground in my nearly empty fig tree. Dog is really excited now that I am there to help or watch him. I'm pumping gas him up too we are having a ball. Just like when I was young.

I get a brainstorm. Instead of shoooting the poor thing I'll just shake him out and we will run him off. So I use a shovel to reach in and hook the limb he is on and start bending it down to where I can grab it. Just nearly reaching it and it is bent banjo string tight when.... boing! It slips loose and shoots the poor little thing straight up! I am about to sick Beaux on him when I realize he has reached his apex and is now on the way back down... straight at me!

I coon in the collar is not in my plans for this morning. Funny how fast the brain works and all the dialing that can go through you mind in a nano second. As I am deciding my path to take I hear a blood curdling scream and wounded, "when did Dee come outside?" Then I realize that I was the one screaming!

Anyhow, I pull of some real cool body contortions due to my superior fitness and dexterity. The beast misses me and lands unharmed and shuffles of with his belly full of fig. I yell at the dog to go into beast mode and get no response. I finally found him hauling hiney across the field looking back over his shoulder.
Final score:
Man armed with attack dog, .22 magnum and shovel -0
1 little coon that looked like an empty sock and may have weighed 6 pounds (after eating the leftover figs-1

My RPM's are run up
Pretty good so I will pass on the exercise regimen today!